Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Sorry about my life...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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