is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
