He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
