well most of my day revolves around power hour
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
