At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
