I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
