Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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