He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
