I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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