never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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