Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
