remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
