He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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