I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You can't motorboat a personality
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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