I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
