I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
