I got chris browned last night
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
