she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Randomize
