The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
