i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
