I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
