I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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