I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
