I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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