I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
