oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
