Porn is love you can see.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
