I'm gonna have a badass scar
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
