...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
