plz talk dirty to me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
