I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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