My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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