I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
