I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
