I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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