She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
