I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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