Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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