ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wear drunk well.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
