So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
