i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dear god my vagina.
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