My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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