so that wasnt chicken after all
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
