Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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