talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
