If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
