omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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