All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i dont even know how to be here
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
