you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
