We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
