we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
