She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
